Posted December 8, 2010
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The Fifth Food Group
Most of us learned about the famous four food groups in elementary school. I did. Didn't you? Apparently, the U.S. Department of
Agriculture had compiled a list and had passed it around to all of our teachers in an effort to influence our dietary habits. Basically, the four groups were comprised of the following: (1) meats, poultry, fish, dry beans and peas, eggs, and nuts; (2) dairy products, such as milk, cheese, and yogurt; (3) grains and breads; (4) fruits and vegetables.
As a child, I wondered how the nice folks at the Department of Food Group Selection or whoever they were, could have gotten it so wrong. How could they have arrived at such a short list? There was no mention of chocolate milk, only milk. No one said anything about the icing on a cake or chocolate-covered ice-cream sundaes. They had to know about these things. When I asked, I was told that some of my favorite foods were not nutritionally important and that others contained ingredients from the four basic food groups. The explanation had a bit of a hollow ring to it. When did the icing on a cake suddenly become so unimportant? And since when does a chocolate-covered ice-cream sundae taste like milk?
An endless array of questions began to populate the space between my two ears. Are all foods subject to this food group category business? Am I likely to see my diet restricted to only things like meat, milk, vegetables, and bread? I was dizzy from the thought of it all.
It seemed to me that that our public officials had simply left out something. Their decision process was flawed. It was wrought with errors and omissions. It was my belief that they had overlooked too many essential food items. You know, the sauces, the gravies, the toppings and condiments that make everything else attractive as food. Who has ever heard of french fries without ketchup, or a hot dog without mustard? Or how about pancakes without syrup or biscuits without gravy? All they had to do was walk into any grocery store and look at what's on the shelves. One shelf after another is stocked with this presumably non-existent food group.
I soon returned to my childhood endeavors and I forgot all about the whole matter of the four basic food groups. Or did I? Looking back, it seems likely that the nutritional training received by me at that delicate age served to whet my appetite for all of these sauces, gravies, and condiments that today I lovingly refer to as "the fifth food group." Would you mind passing the butter and jam, please?
